Title: The Inherent Ineluctability of One's Fate
Author: Fleur
Characters: Willow/Tara, Xander, Giles, Buffy, Dawn.
Summary: Willow grieves.
Author's Notes: I don't know how I wrote this in one sitting.

Her request to bring Tara back was refused, and in that moment, Willow's world shattered.

Taken by natural order.

She knelt there, on the ground, Tara's blood still warm on her, and refused to believe it. She was still warm. Warmth was life, and life was Tara, and she was not losing her, she couldn't, she was going to save her, and -

Willow closed her eyes, the emotions pulling her in every direction, and clutched Tara a little tighter. This wasn't happening; this couldn't happen, it had been too coincidental, too fast, too simple...

She couldn't just get Tara back in order to lose her again.

"Tara," she half-whispered, half-moaned, opening her eyes again and looking down at her. She knew, looking at her, that she was gone, because it was obvious there was nothing there. She was warm in Willow's arms, and her blood was everywhere, and her hair was strewn and this was all real, too real, but Tara was gone.

"No," Willow might have muttered, again, as she held her and watched the way Tara's blood was pooling, but it wasn't very loud and she cleared her throat.

This time, she looked up, her eyes black and her expression deadly. "No."

Willow stood, slowly, letting Tara fall to the ground. She closed her eyes and let the magic build in her, drawing it from everything – from the magics in the atmosphere, from the distant Hellmouth, from anyone whose spirit she could feel. She felt everything, in that moment, and it was nothing compared to the ball of absolute grief blocking her chest, and she turned her head up and screamed.

And screamed, and screamed, and screamed, until the world was gone.

*

Xander looked up when Willow screamed, from where he was crouched over Buffy, his hands slick with her blood.

"Will," he muttered, and stood almost without thinking, before looking back down at Buffy - but only for a split second, before he ran into the house.

As he went, he pulled his cellphone out of his pocket and dialled 911. They answered as he was running up the stairs, and he managed to say, through the breaking in his voice, "I've, god. There's an emergency. Here, 1630 Revello Drive. I, uh. My friend, she's been shot -" He trailed off as he got to the room, and saw Tara on the floor, lying in her own blood.

"Sir?" the woman on the other end of the phone asked, very calmly. "Sir, we're sending an ambulance now. Can you confirm one gunshot victim -"

"Two," he said, quietly, and dropped the phone then, running over to Tara and kneeling next to her. "Tara? Tara, you've gotta answer me."

Then, almost as an afterthought, he looked around, and called, urgently, "Will? Will, where are you?"

Upon getting no answer, he looked back down at Tara again, in shock, and shook his head. "There is no way this is happening. Hey, Hellmouth? I'd like to wake up now?"

He knelt next to her again and put his fingers to her neck to feel for a pulse, and, upon feeling nothing, gathered her into his arms, eyes wide, not thinking at all, and stumbled down the stairs. Once he got outside he fell to the ground next to Buffy, putting Tara down and moving over to feel for Buffy's pulse.

"Buffy," he said, quietly, and then, without really thinking, he pulled off his overshirt and held it to her wound. She looked up and seemed to vaguely focus on his face, and he managed to say, quietly, "You can't leave me, Buff. Stay here."

As sirens began to sound in the distance, he shifted over to look at Tara again, but her eyes were focused in the distance, completely unseeing. He looked up at the house again, and saw the broken window, and then down at both the girls again. His hands were starting to shake, then, even as he held his shirt against Buffy's shoulder, and he had to close his eyes for a moment.

And then before he knew what was happening, there were paramedics gently pulling him to his feet, and leaning down around both girls. He just watched them, wide-eyed, and didn't hear a thing being said to him before a man took him by the shoulders. "What happened here?"

"Huh?" Xander said, shaking his head, looking up at him.

"You have to tell me what's happened, so we can help your friends."

Xander just stared down at the girls for a moment, and then up at the paramedic. "They, uh. Warren. He came here, he had a gun, he... he hit Buffy." He waved vaguely at Buffy, to tell the man who she was. "I guess, I... the window's broken, he... I mean, he must have hit Tara, she, I found her upstairs..." He left off, rubbing a hand over his face, leaving bloodied streaks. "I shouldn't have moved her. But she had no pulse, and..."

The man nodded, and looked down at the woman working on Tara, who nodded as well. He looked at Xander again. "It might be best for you to come with us to the hospital, okay? Was there anyone else in the house?"

Still wide-eyed, Xander started to shake his head, then cut himself off. "God. Willow, she… I heard her scream. She wasn't with Tara, I… I don't know where... I couldn't find her."

"Check the house for a third victim," the man talking to Xander instructed someone behind him. Xander shook his head and went to push past the man to go into the house, but he stopped him, taking him firmly by the arms. "It'll be best if you stay out here, sir, just -"

"I've gotta find Will," he replied, in a flat tone, trying to get out of the man's grip.

"If you want to help your friends, it's best that you stay out here," the man replied, calmly, and Xander stopped, looking down at Buffy and Tara, who they were beginning to load into the ambulance. He nodded, but cast a look back at the house as the man led him away.

*

When Willow stopped screaming, she found herself in the main room of the Magic Box. She looked around, confused, and from the main table, Xander looked up and grinned at her. "Gotta say, Will, didn't see you coming."

She shook her head, and turned towards the door.

"Also didn't see you leaving so soon," he added, turning to look at her.

When Willow looked back, she could still feel the grief in her veins, and she just shook her head again. " Tara's hurt. I have to go."

"Tara?" Xander shook his head, confused. "How do you know?"

"I saw her," she replied, in a low voice, quite dull. "At the house. She was shot."

"At the..." he shook his head again. "What house? What are you talking about?"

"Buffy's house," she said, looking at him, suddenly annoyed that he was stalling her, and she'd raised her hand to cast something on him when she suddenly stopped. "Wait. You were there."

"At Buff's place?" Xander shrugged, and nodded. "Yeah, okay, guilty as charged most of the time, but I'm really not knowing when you're talking about now."

"Where am I?" she replied, looking around her. This looked like the Magic Box, but something wasn't right. It all felt normal; Anya was behind the register, Xander hanging out at the table, the sounds of fighting coming from the training room... she frowned again. "Where's Tara?"

When Xander looked up at her this time, he looked a lot like he was feeling sorry for her. "Will, Tara's gone. She left when you guys broke up, remember?"

Willow just stared at him. "No."

"You're not from here," Anya said, then, looking up from her register at last. Willow just stared at her, blankly, and Anya came out from behind the counter. "This isn't your world. God, I should have guessed it when you teleported in."

"What?" Xander asked, but Anya ignored him.

Willow looked at her, silently, suspiciously.

"Let me guess," she said. "Something's happened to Tara where you come from and now you're trying to find her."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Willow replied, though something was beginning to dawn in her head. She'd felt it when she'd screamed. Something breaking down. Walls between dimensions. And maybe she could do it. They'd brought her vampire self into their world. All she had to do was find Tara, and she could take her back, and everything would be okay again. Or better yet, she didn't even have to take her back. Willow was fine so far. She could just stay where Tara was.

"It doesn't work like this. Trust me. You won't find her." Anya shook her head, and Willow, not wanting to hear any more, closed her eyes and pushed Anya away with a burst of magic.

Anya flew across the room and hit the counter, and, with just an exclaimed "Ahn!," Xander jumped out of his seat and ran to her side.

"I'll find her," Willow replied, and turned to walk out the door.

*

Xander had spent most of the ambulance drive in a daze, just clinging to Buffy's hand and trying not to look over at Tara. He'd heard the driver being told that they hadn't found Willow, and he couldn't even begin to think about what he was going to do about that.

By the time he was sitting outside Buffy's hospital room - they were apparently working on something that really didn't need any Xander-shaped influence, because he'd been told in no uncertain terms to wait out here - Xander was definitely ready to declare this as the worst day of his life.

Tara was dead - they'd pronounced her so way before they'd even arrived. Buffy was in a bad way. Willow had gone poof, and not in a gay way. Of those, he was probably least worried about Buffy – and that was strictly relative, but hey, Buffy had recovered from a case of being dead twice before, so she was pretty tough. He wasn't even starting to let himself think about Tara. He didn't know who to call about her, where to begin. And Willow was gone. There wasn't anywhere she could have been hiding in that house, and he was pretty sure she hadn't had a chance to leave after he'd heard her scream.

That was all he could think about, now. The police had been and gone and he could hardly remember what they'd asked. He'd called Anya - sure, she hated him now, but this was important, right? - and asked her to go and find Dawn, to look after her. He'd been as much of a responsible adult as he knew how to be.

God. Xander leaned back, his head against the wall. When had his life screwed up enough to lead to this? Anya, Buffy, Tara, Willow...

He looked up, then, as a doctor came out of Buffy's room. He smiled at Xander, slightly, and all of a sudden, a lot of things unknotted inside him. As Xander stood, the man started to talk, quietly, seriously. "Miss Summers, it has to be said, has a quite remarkable constitution. We've managed to remove the bullet, and it would seem that she's on her way to a full recovery."

"Good," Xander replied. "Oh god, is that good."

The doctor smiled at him, a little more sympathetically. "Have you notified the family?"

Xander's mind spun again. He definitely hadn't even thought about ringing Buffy's dad. Anya would be taking care of Dawn, and it wasn't like any of Buffy's other relatives were on the shortlist of people to be notified about Buffinjuries. Which only left one person who really needed to know - Giles.

As the doctor walked off again, Xander took his cellphone out, ignoring the dim awareness in the back of his mind that you weren't meant to use them in hospitals. Giles' number in England was on speed-dial, in case anything ever happened, and anything had definitely now happened. He let it dial.

Giles answered, fairly quickly. "Hello?"

"Giles?" Xander swallowed, hard, trying to make his voice work. "It's Xander. Something's happened."

*

When Willow walked out of the Magic Box, she stepped back into it again, as if she'd walked through a mirror.

She looked around, and frowned. "That's weird."

The Magic Box looked different to the one she'd just left; newer, and as she examined it more closely, she noticed small differences – the troll's hammer behind the counter, for one. Giles behind the counter, for another. And sitting around the table were Xander - with Anya on his knee, Buffy, and... Willow stopped, and stared for a moment.

"Oz?"

He gave her a quick smile, and nodded. "Last I checked."

"But have you really checked recently?" Xander asked, leaning around Anya to look at him. "I mean, we are living on a Hellmouth, here, and who knows, our resident evil woman might be aiming to make you all -"

Willow tuned out Xander's babble, and walked slowly over to the table, unsure of what to think at all as she sat down next to Oz and he took her hand. She stared down at it for a moment.

"Well, Willow, now you're here -" She looked up, and Giles just smiled kindly at her as he walked over to the table, "I think we can begin." He took his glasses off. "As I'm sure you all know, the Council members are arriving -"

"Again?" Willow interrupted, without thinking, still just so fixed on her hand in Oz's.

"Can I second that?" Buffy asked, looking up at Giles. "Last time the Council came, I nearly got killed. Really nearly. Way too nearly. And you got fired. Not the Council's biggest fan, right here."

Willow watched her, and then looked back at Giles, who nodded, looking down, his foot on a chair. "I realise that, Buffy," he said, patiently, "But any information the Council can give us on Glory is -"

It was then that Willow realised where she was, and she looked up at Oz again. This wasn't right. He caught her stare and smiled at her a little, and she leaned in, whispering, "Where's Tara?"

He gave her an odd look. " Tara? Your wicca friend?"

Friend? Willow just looked back at him, blankly.

"She went with her family just before her birthday, remember?" He touched her knee, gently.

"Did I know this?"

"Think so."

Things started to make too much sense, of a sudden - if Tara had gone back with her family, she'd never found out she wasn't a demon, and if she and Oz were together again... this was definitely not a world Willow wanted to be in. She let go of Oz's hand, and stood, ignoring the way Giles broke off in the middle of his sentence.

Without saying anything, Willow walked out the back door.

*

"Buffy's been shot," Xander said, without any preface.

There was a long silence on the other end of the phone. "Good god," Giles said, at last, very quietly. "What happened?"

"She's going to be fine," he said, rubbing his hair with one hand. " Tara's not. There was... okay, Warren, and I think I missed a whole lot but he shot Buff, in the shoulder, and then... I don't know, a bullet went through the window, and Tara's..." He swallowed, unable to make himself say it.

"Xander, slow down."

Xander nodded, pointlessly, and took a deep breath. "Okay. Buffy and me, we were in the front yard. Enter Warren, stage left. Shouting. I can't remember what about, but he had a gun."

"And he shot Buffy," Giles said, quietly.

Again, Xander nodded. "He shot Buff. In the shoulder. I didn't see the next bit but I guess he kept shooting, and a bullet went through the window on the top floor. It, uh. It hit Tara."

He could practically hear Giles cleaning his glasses, and he went on, "I, I heard Will scream, then -"

"Willow? Is she all right?"

"I don't know," he replied. "We, um. We couldn't find her. I don't... I, uh. I went inside, I called an ambulance and I was trying to find Will, but I found Tara. She. She didn't have a pulse."

"Good lord," Giles said, and this time, Xander could imagine him closing his eyes. It was kind of comforting to know - or at least think - what Giles was doing right now.

"I, uh. The ambulance came, and Tara, she was. They said she was dead on the way. Buff's... They're working on her now, and I guess, I mean, they say she's going to be okay, but I thought you should... I mean, there was no-one else to call."

"Where's Dawn?"

"Uh, at school. I'm. Anya's picking her up, gonna bring her here."

There was a longer silence, then, and Xander was about to tell Giles... okay, he wasn't sure, but it was either going to be an apology for bothering him in his big new England life, or it was going to be a plea for him to come and help them, but Giles spoke first. "I'll be on the first flight."

Xander closed his eyes and sat down, relieved. "I. I guess I should try and talk you out of, I mean, hey, we're meant to be proving we can be all okay without you here -"

"I'm not leaving you to deal with this alone, Xander," Giles replied, immediately. "I'll call as soon as I get in."

Gratefully, Xander just nodded, and put the phone down, before running his hands through his hair again. Maybe help wasn't such a bad idea after all.

*

When Willow walked out of the Magic Box this time, she walked into the Summers' house, and looked around.

"Willow?" a voice called, and Willow's eyes just widened, because it was Tara. Without even looking up, she just beamed, and stepped through the doorway, into Tara's arms.

Laughing, Tara hugged her, and Willow had to bury her face in Tara's shoulder to keep from crying, because she had thought that was something she'd never hear again. And then she looked up, and realised how thin Tara was; how red her eyes were, and Willow frowned, touching a hand to her face. "Sweetie? What's wrong?"

"Wrong?" Tara asked, shaking her head. "Nothing's wrong!"

"But you look so..." Willow shook her head, standing back and looking at her properly.

"Oh!" Tara said, and laughed a little, and her laughter still made Willow's heart skip a few beats. "Oh, no, sweetie, that's just my allergies."

"Allergies?"

Tara nodded, but took Willow's hand and smiled. "Come on, Dawnie's made dinner."

"Dawn? Dawn in the kitchen? Because Dawn in the kitchen is..." Willow let Tara pull her through.

Dawn looked up as they walked in, and grinned. "Oh my god, Willow, you will never believe how I've cooked dinner."

Willow just looked at her, a little skeptical. "Is it, um, edible?"

"It's totally edible." She grinned and carried a plate through to the table.

As Tara smiled at her and squeezed her hand, they followed Dawn, and it was only as Willow sat down that she realised that not only was Dawn serving shrimp, but there were shrimp in the drinking glasses, and shrimp on the side-plates, and shrimp where the fruit bowl was supposed to be.

Giving Dawn and Tara strange looks, Willow stood up. "I'm, um. This is way too strange."

And without further ado, she walked out.

*

"Where's Buffy?" Dawn shouted, as she ran down the hallway, dropping her schoolbag behind her.

Xander managed to catch her in his arms before she burst into the hospital room. Without saying anything, he drew her close to him and hugged her, tightly. Dawn was crying, and she clung to Xander for a moment, bunching his t-shirt in her fists.

He led her over to the window where they could see in to Buffy, and stroked her hair, quietly. "She's gonna be okay, Dawnster. I've got the doctor's word on it."

"But doctors, they can be wrong, can't they?" Dawn looked up at Xander, desperately. "They were wrong about Mom... they could be wrong about Buffy. We have to help her!"

"They're not going to be wrong about Buffy," he replied, even though he'd been thinking the same thing. "They've got the bullet out. Now it's up to Buff, and we know she's got the whole Slayer deal working for her."

Dawn looked through the window again, tears running down her cheeks. Xander paused for a moment, and hugged her closer.

"Is she going to be okay?" Anya asked, coming up behind them, and Xander turned, startled. "Buffy, I mean. Is she going to die?"

"Buff's gonna be fine," he said, and his voice was beginning to be hoarse.

Anya just nodded, then, in a strained voice, said, "I was working. You can't just call up and demand I do whatever you want, you know."

"Anya..."

"I mean I've lost valuable -"

"Anya!" He glared at her, this time, and she looked up at him, silently. He opened his mouth, before realising he honestly didn't know what to say, and so settled instead for just shaking his head and looking back at Buffy.

Dawn looked up at Xander, then. "Is Tara okay? Where's Willow?"

There was no way Xander knew how to deal with this, and he glanced up at Anya, quickly, before looking back down. "We don't know where Will is right now. Tara, she..." He trailed off, and swallowed, and he guessed that was when Dawn caught on, because she started crying again, absolutely silently. "There was another bullet. It hit Tara. She's, uh."

He didn't need to finish the sentence because Dawn pushed him away, and wrapped her arms around herself, setting her jaw with her tears streaming, staring through the window silently at Buffy.

"God, Dawn," he said, quietly, reaching out for her.

"Don't touch me," she said, quietly, but dangerously, and he just stepped back, with a nod.

*

It was early morning, now, and Willow found herself in the Summers' house yet again. She looked through into the living room and was disturbingly glad to find that there were a few discarded candy bar wrappers, of the non-shrimp variety.

"Hello?" she called, looking around, not hearing any signs of life.

"Will?"

That was Tara's voice, and Willow smiled in relief, going through to the kitchen. Tara was standing at the stove with a pan, and smiling at her. "Pancakes?"

Everything, right at that moment, suddenly seemed perfect, and as if in a dream, Willow went over to Tara, just smiling, and put her arms around her waist. Tara laughed and held the pan up and out of the way as they kissed.

"I've missed you so much, baby," Willow told her, seriously, as she pulled back a little.

Tara just smiled, looking at her. "Oh, sweetie, it's only been an hour." She turned around in Willow's arms and laughed as Willow held on, walking them both back to the stove. She leaned back in Willow's arms, smiling.

"An hour is an hour too long," Willow replied, leaning up to kiss Tara's cheek.

Tara just smiled and brought a hand up to touch Willow's cheek. She smiled, leaning into the gentle touch, and spun Tara around so they could kiss again, properly. Willow pulled her from the stove and brought her hands up to touch Tara's hair, just convincing herself that Tara was real, and alive, and right here in her arms.

"Okay," Tara said after a few minutes, though she was laughing, and kissed Willow one more time. "I've got to cook breakfast. Dawnie gets grouchy when she's hungry, you know that."

"Oooh, yes," Willow replied with a grin. "Almost as bad as Buffy. I'll go find them -"

At Tara's look, Willow paused. "What?"

"Buffy?" Tara shook her head. "Buffy's not -"

Suddenly, Willow realised why this was so familiar. The summer that Buffy had died had been like this, the two of them cooking breakfast, looking after Dawn. She stared at Tara and shook her head. "No. No, she's -"

"Giles found out about the spell last week. We can't do it, you know that -"

"No," Willow said, quietly, and turned away from her. She couldn't do this. She couldn't trade Tara for her best friend's life. Closing her eyes and trying not to hear Tara's voice, she walked out the door.

*

Giles sat on the plane, and took his glasses off, closing his eyes.

Things had been all in a rush since Xander's phone call. He'd barely had time to pack a bag before his cab had arrived, and he'd been on the first flight out of Bristol. London had been a blur and now he was well on his way to Los Angeles, and his mind was only now having a chance to catch up.

Buffy was in hospital. Barely anything had registered since that fact. She'd been shot, and Tara was dead, and he'd left them all in Sunnydale to deal with everything alone.

It hadn't been the right choice. He knew that now, and if Buffy was... if anything happened to her as a result of this, Giles wasn't sure he would ever be able to forgive himself.

And Tara, dear, sweet Tara. He couldn't even begin to think how Willow must be feeling. And Xander had said she was gone...

The boy had sounded like he felt guilty for burdening Giles with this, and that tone tugged at him more than anything. Somehow he'd made them feel like he was beyond their reach; made them feel they shouldn't call him in an emergency. And this was certainly an emergency. Good lord, he'd failed at this.

He smiled slightly at the air hostess as she offered him a drink, but declined, and looked up to watch their progress on the television screen. The sooner he got to Sunnydale, by far the better.

*

Willow looked down at herself.

Time to take stock. She was outside. It was day time, it was sunny, and by the looks of things, she hadn't shifted towns. She was wearing a wedding dress. Only one of these filled her with a great deal of dread.

"Willow! Willow, come on!"

Buffy's voice. Willow looked up, and Buffy came running over to her, grinning, and wearing what was distinctly a - fairly ugly – bridesmaid dress. She beamed and took Willow's hands. " Tara's waiting, come on!"

"Tara?"

This time, Willow couldn't help herself; she broke into a grin. Maybe this wasn't so bad. Marrying Tara? And, okay, so she wasn't totally sure on the legality, but that didn't matter. If she'd got to the stage of wearing a wedding dress, she was probably okay. She looked up at Buffy, and grinned back, the excitement catching.

Willow let Buffy tug her along, and grinned with even more excitement when she saw Giles, who was smiling and adjusting a black-haired girl's dress, which seemed to be identical to Buffy's.

"Giles!" Willow called, excitedly, and wow, this was most definitely the best dimension she'd found so far.

He turned and smiled, and the girl, who looked strikingly familiar, grinned at her as well. " Willow," Giles said, and stepped forward, leaning down to kiss her cheek. "You do look amazing."

Buffy cleared her throat, and Willow had to laugh.

"O-of course, your beauty is nearly paralleled by that of your lovely bridesmaids," Giles went on, smiling at Buffy. "Though you must tell Xander that her dress looks fine, she seems to not believe a word I say."

"Xander.." Willow repeated, looking at the dark haired girl again. And it was Xander, without a doubt, only... well, female. And giving Giles a disturbingly flirtatious look.

"You look great," Buffy assured her, and, as Willow just stared some more, took the female Xander's hands, pulling her away from Giles.

Willow just stared after them, and then up at Giles, confused. He gave her an encouraging smile. "Away you go, then. There'll be plenty of time to talk once you're Mrs Maclay."

Feeling rather dizzy, Willow nodded, and turned to walk after Buffy and Xander.

And stopped in her tracks when she saw Tara. Tall, and beautiful, and blonde, and wearing a tuxedo, and very much male.

"Still gay," she muttered, taking an unsure step back. This was most definitely not the world she was looking for.

She turned, and ran.

*

Dawn had fallen asleep on the plastic seats, and Xander was still watching Buffy through the window, by the time Giles walked down the hospital hallway. He went up, and stroked Dawn's hair back from her face, before going over to Xander and touching his shoulder.

Xander looked up, surprised, and then, without saying anything, stepped forward and put his arms around Giles, closing his eyes.

His eyes closed as well, Giles just hugged him back, not wanting to let the force of anything that had happened sink in just yet. As they stepped away, each avoiding the other's eyes, Giles motioned towards Buffy in her room, asking, quietly, "Has there been any improvement?"

Xander nodded, after a while. "Doctors say she'll wake up any minute now. Got that crazy Slayer strength on her side, it's got them all confused."

Giles smiled, slightly, and looked at her, before saying, "Any sign of Willow?"

"God." Xander shook his head, rubbing his eyes with one hand. "I've been too scared to leave here. Anya said she was going to have a look around, but I don't know how much she meant that."

Giles nodded. "I've, ah. I've been meaning to ring and offer my congratulations to you and Anya, though it certainly doesn't seem appropriate now -"

"Don't," Xander cut him off. "There's, uh. There's nothing to give congratulations for."

Looking away from Buffy for a moment, Giles studied him.

"I left her," Xander said, though he kept his gaze trained on Buffy. "On the wedding day."

Giles opened his mouth to reply but they were cut off as Anya strode down the hall, saying, abruptly, "I've found Willow."

At the noise, Dawn sat up, rubbing her eyes.

"Where is she?" Xander asked, stepping forward.

Anya stopped him with a glare, and when she spoke, it was only to Giles. "I spoke to D'Hoffryn. He said there's been someone walking between dimensions. A lot of them. She came from this world. It's Willow."

"Walking between dimensions?" Dawn asked, in a quiet voice.

Giles took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes with his wrist, looking up at her. "Can we be sure of that?"

"We're sure." Anya looked at him, sounding very serious. "D'Hoffryn doesn't make mistakes, and he's met Willow before. He said she's channeling some pretty dangerous magics. She's knocking down walls between every dimension and she doesn't care what's going to happen."

"Hell on earth," Giles replied.

Xander looked between them, confused. "Did I miss something?"

"The, ah, walls between dimensions are fragile at best," Giles told him, looking down and putting his glasses back on. "If Willow's shattering them then there's no telling what could come through."

"We have to get her back," he replied.

Giles just nodded, looking up at him.

*

When Willow stopped running, she was back in her bedroom at Buffy's house, and looking down at herself, very relieved to see that she was back out of wedding clothes. She looked around, frowning a little. The house didn't look any different, but by now, she was definitely beginning to understand the part where that meant nothing.

"Hello?" she called out, quietly. "Anyone home? ... anyone who isn't me?"

Just as she started to walk out of the room, the phone rang, startling her. Phones ringing in big empty houses at night? Big not-funny in Willow's world, and she was breathing quickly as she ran down the stairs to answer the portable. "Hello?"

"Will?"

"Xander, hey." She paused, then, and frowned. "Um, Xand, you're not a girl, are you?"

Apparently that was too random even for Xander, and he paused for a few moments. "Okay, Will, time to lay off the sugar this close to bed-time. Or, optionally, huh?"

Willow shook her head. "Nothing."

"So, anyway, I'm just calling - not to check my sex, although thanks for keeping an eye out for me - to see if Tara's turned up."

Pausing, Willow stared at the phone. " Tara's missing?"

"I wouldn't say missing, but she's been a big not-there since last night, hasn't she?"

Okay. Just one night. One night was okay. One night, Willow could deal with, and she grinned a little, relieved. "She'll turn up, Xander."

"Give us a ring when she does, okay? I'm trying out this responsible-friend thing, it's going pretty well so far."

Willow actually laughed, at that, and nodded, before hanging up. This world was going to be okay. Xander was normal, and, all right, so Tara was missing, but she'd only been missing for one night. It wasn't like she had left her, or was back home with her family, or a guy, or anything.

And even as she thought that, there was a knock at the door, and Willow answered it, grinning hopefully.

Tara stood there, smiling, though she looked pale, and was shaking a little.

"Tara!" Willow exclaimed, grinning, and she stepped forward to hug her tightly. This was going to work out. Everything was going to be fine. She drew back and put her hands on each side of Tara's face, leaning forward to kiss her. "You're so cold, you know? Get inside, we'll..." She grinned, teasingly. "I mean, I'm sure we can think of ways to warm you up."

Tara grinned back, then, and stepped inside with her.

"You're okay, right?" Willow asked, after a moment, when Tara still hadn't spoken. "I mean, sure, cold, and..." She looked up at her again, at the flatness of Tara's eyes, and realisation started to settle. "...and not breathing, and I possibly just invited you in..."

"Never been better," Tara said, and Willow's nightmare suddenly got clearer as she shifted into vampire face and lunged at her.

Willow brought her hands up and muttered a protection spell, but it was fast enough and Tara was thrown back from her, snarling, to the floor. As she looked up, her features so very twisted, Willow started to feel tears coming to her eyes, and she stumbled towards the door.

Just as Tara stood up to jump at her again, Willow tripped out.

*

A steady beep of one of the hospital's machines greeted Buffy as she opened her eyes, slowly. She screwed her nose up a little and shut her eyes again at the lighting, saying, quietly, "Okay, I've come back from the dead and felt better than this."

"Yes, well, drowning and falling through a dimensional portal aren't quite the same as a gunshot," a quiet voice came from beside her.

"Giles?" Buffy said, not believing it as she opened her eyes again and looked over. And it was; it was Giles sitting there and smiling kindly at her, and she tried to sit up. "Oh, god, Giles, what are you doing here?"

"Xander called me," he replied, quietly, putting out a hand to lay her back down.

Buffy nodded, though as she lay back on the pillow, she looked around and frowned. "God, what happened? I can't remember... okay, Warren, and..."

"Forget about him," Giles said, quietly. "The police have managed to find all three of them. He shot you, in the shoulder. You'll be fine."

"Is everyone else okay?" She looked up at Giles, pleadingly. "Dawn?"

"Dawn, I imagine, will be terribly disappointed that you first woke when it was my turn to watch you and not hers," he replied, and smiled at her. Then his face grew rather more serious. "There's, ah. Warren, when he attacked you. He hit Tara, as well. I'm afraid she's..."

"Oh god," Buffy cut him off before he could finish, bringing her hand up to cover her mouth. "No. She can't -"

Giles bowed his head, slightly. "I'm sorry, Buffy. I can't possibly say how sorry I am. About Tara, about..."

"How's Will taking it?"

There was a pause, then, as Giles looked down, carefully considering his answer. He looked up again after a short while. "About as well as one would expect," he said, quietly. "But Xander and Anya and I are taking care of it."

Buffy just nodded, still clearly in shock, letting her head fall back again. "I can't believe you're here."

"I can't quite believe it either," Giles said, honestly.

"What happened to us having to deal with life all alone?"

At that, Giles smiled, very slightly, and nodded. "It would seem that I am, on occasion, wrong."

Closing her eyes, Buffy smiled. "I've been telling you that forever."

*

Willow stumbled, backwards, into the room that she and Buffy had shared in college, and stopped in her tracks.

She looked around.

Everything was exactly as she remembered it. Buffy wasn't there but her weapons chest was. Willow's computer was on, with the light above it, and she went over to it, frowning a little. The hall seemed pretty quiet, except for a distant knocking.

After a moment, smiling a little to herself, she went over to her phone. All she had to do was call Tara and make sure everything was okay with her, and then... she could start everything over again. She'd make it so that Buffy never died, and so that Tara never left her... so that Xander never left Anya, so Giles never left Buffy... she just beamed, and picked the phone up, dialling.

The phone rang, and rang, and rang enough that Willow started to doubt her own memory for numbers. She reached out for the piece of paper she usually scrawled things like that on, and ran her finger down it to find Tara's number.

There was nothing.

She frowned, and looked again, before it dawned on her. This was probably before she'd met Tara. Still, that was okay... more than okay. It was great. She could meet her, and fall in love all over again, and that specialness they'd always had together, she could still have it...

Xander, then. She'd call Xander to make sure he was normal and okay. Smiling at the idea, she reached for the phone again and called Xander's number. Sure enough, it was only four rings before someone picked up - even if they didn't say anything.

"Hey!" Willow started to say, grinning, before she stopped, and her smile left her face altogether. She hadn't spoken.

She frowned, and tried again. "Hello? Hello?"

Nothing, and it wasn't until she opened her mouth to try again that she realised what was happening. When was happening, and she realised, dropping the phone in dread, that the knocking she'd heard had stopped.

Without thinking, she got up and scrambled for the door, throwing it open and falling out into the hallway.

Tara was lying on the ground, just a few doors down, with one of the Gentlemen standing above her. There was blood everywhere, and the Gentleman had a heart in his hand and he looked up at Willow, grinning.

Soundlessly, Willow screamed at the top of her lungs, and ran back inside the dorm room.

*

"It doesn't matter, Xander," Anya was saying, without looking up at him, frowning and going through her books. "And if you're going to sit here and argue with me over whether we can do it, you can make yourself useful and help me."

"I'm just saying," Xander said, picking up a book and opening it to a random page. "If there was a way Willow did this, there's a way we can do it to get her back."

" Willow did it fuelled by grief and a lot more magic than any of us have ever seen," Anya said, still looking down. "Not to mention how dangerous it is."

"Yeah, well, let it be dangerous," Xander replied. "We're talking about my best friend, and I'm going to get her back."

This time, Anya was silent for a long while as she read, before she said, quietly, "You'd never have done something like this for me."

Xander put his book down and looked up. "I love you, Ahn, I'd -"

"You don't love me," she replied, quite flatly. "You don't even know what love means. Love is not leaving someone at the altar, Xander."

Chastised, Xander looked down. "Look, I -"

"Don't. I don't want to hear you any more." When Anya looked up at him, now, she had tears in her eyes. "Right now I don't even know if I want you dead or alive, Xander, but I don't want you to die trying to do something that can't be done."

Not able to think of anything to reply, Xander just nodded.

"And this can't be done," Anya said, putting her book down and pushing it across the table top. "Walking dimensions is too hard, and too risky, and you're going to get yourself killed. It's impossible."

They both looked up as the door to the Magic Box closed, then, and Giles walked in, taking off his coat and coming over to the table, sitting down and looking up at Anya. "I think you may be wrong about that."

Anya stared back at him, and Xander looked up. "None of us have access to anything like the sort of power Willow's accessing," she said. "And even if we did, we don't know how to cast any of the spells needed -"

"Actually," he said, quietly, looking up at her very seriously. "I do."

*

As Willow stumbled into the Magic Box, Tara put her arms out to catch her, and the two of them went tumbling to the ground, Willow landing very much on top of her, face-to-face.

Tara smiled at her, reaching up to stroke her hair.

Willow just stared at her, unable to believe her own eyes.

"Nice dramatic entrance," Tara said, still just smiling, and Willow felt like she was home.

"Giles," Xander called, in the background, and when Willow looked up, he was going over to the door to the training room. "Giles, you've gotta get out here. You definitely don't want to miss this."

Willow just grinned, and looked down at Tara, still pinned under her, and leaned down to kiss her.

Smiling, Tara kissed her back for a few moments before laughing. "Sweetie, I need to breathe."

"Oh!" Willow just grinned and stood up, offering Tara a hand and pulling her first to her feet, and then in to her side, putting her arm around her waist. "A breathing Tara is my favourite kind." She smiled at her, and leaned over to kiss her cheek.

As Giles came out of the training room, wiping sweat from his forehead, Xander motioned helplessly over to the girls. "They were lying there! On the floor! I saw it with my own eyes!"

Giles gave Xander a look, before glancing up at the girls and smiling, rather fondly. "Though I think we're all in favour of watching Xander squirm, might I kindly suggest the two of you -"

"Get a room?" Tara finished, grinning. Willow beamed and hugged her a little closer, as Tara nodded. "We can, um. There's research we could do?"

"Back at the house," Willow finished with a grin.

"There's research?" Xander asked, sounding confused, and Giles gave him another odd look.

"We'll, um," Tara said, still grinning -

"See you!" Willow finished, and tugged her out the door.

The two started laughing as they walked outside, hand in hand. Willow just grinned across at her, amazed that she'd finally found her. That everything was going to be fine. She could feel her eyes filling with tears but this time it was happiness, because god, she had her Tara. Nothing could possibly be wrong with that.

"Come on," Tara said, laughing, and tugged her across the street as the light went green.

Smiling, Willow followed her, a sense of peace beginning to settle over her.

Tara turned, still smiling, to tell her something, taking her hand out of Willow's to gesture.

And suddenly there was the sound of an engine, and they both looked up.

A red sports car, running the light.

Willow barely had time to comprehend before the car hit Tara.

There was a long moment of nothing as sound seemed to disappear and the world stopped, only to start again as Tara's body came down with a horrible final thud, and Willow started to scream.

*

Giles was leaning against the counter in the Magic Box, glasses off, looking down as he told the story. "I'm not saying interdimensional travel is particularly advisable, but it can be done. Deliberately. It's not a difficult spell and we should have all the necessary ingredients here."

Anya shook her head. "It's black magic. Not just a little black, either."

"I'm well aware of it, Anya," Giles replied, replacing his glasses as he looked up at them again. "In my Ripper days it was something we did for... well, for fun. Two of us would act as the grounding points and a third would be sent between dimensions. It never lasted for long, but it left you with an incredible rush of adrenaline."

"And we're going to use your whole black magic past thing to save the world," Xander asked, looking up at him.

Giles nodded.

"Just checking."

"The consequences of not bringing Willow back from wherever she is are too dire to contemplate," Giles said, quietly, looking up at Xander again. "And the sooner we act on this the better."

"Two people to do the spell?" Anya asked, quietly, and Giles nodded.

Xander's eyes widened in realisation. "And one to get sent away?"

"That would be you, yes," Giles said, quietly, and walked over to the table. He sat next to Xander, continuing, seriously, "Please believe that if I thought there was another way, Xander, I wouldn't be suggesting this. And I would never put you at undue risk. But -"

"I'll do it," he interrupted him.

"Xander -" Anya said, quietly.

Xander didn't look up, just watching Giles. "I mean, if you say this is how we save Will, this is how we save Will. Figure you know what you're talking about more than the rest of us."

Giles just looked at him for a moment, before nodding, just once, and standing up to go and collect supplies. Xander was left just staring down at the table, in silence. Anya looked over at him, and said, quietly, "You don't have to do this. We can find someone else -"

"I want to," Xander replied, quietly. "It's Will, Anya. I love her."

Anya nodded, and for once, without any jealousy, said, "I know."

She stood and went over to Giles, then, and the two of them began to set things up, drawing all sorts of lines and circles on the floor, sprinkling herbs. It was a long while - and only after the floor seemed to have some sort of purple fire lit on it - before Giles came over and squeezed Xander's shoulder, briefly. "We're ready."

Xander nodded, and stood, and listened only vaguely to Giles' instructions - to concentrate on Willow, and only Willow, and to not lose that focus no matter what happened - as he walked towards the circle. And then he stepped in it, and the world turned upside down.

*

"Think they're making up?" Willow was saying, as everything began to come into focus around her. She looked around herself. The bedroom at Buffy's house, and oh, Tara.

Tara was looking out the window, and without needing to see, Willow knew she was looking down at Buffy and Xander. "I hope so," Tara said, quietly, before turning around and smiling. "That's the best part."

The smile faded from Willow's face, then, as she realised what was happening. This was familiar. This was all familiar. This was wrong. She didn't want to be back in her world; she didn't want to see this all played out again. She stepped forward and took Tara by the arms, turning her away from the window and kissing her, hard.

Tara was frowning a little at first, Willow could feel, but she soon gave in and kissed back, and right then, Willow could feel time slow down. She could feel tears crawling down her cheeks, and she could feel Tara's hair under her hands as she reached up to hold her head. She could feel Tara's warmth against her and she could feel her love, inside her, around them, surrounding them, and that's when she heard the first gunshot.

Startling in her arms, Tara pulled back, giving Willow an alarmed look.

Willow just watched her, tears in her eyes, and whispered, "I love you, baby."

And then she felt it, the kick, the bullet slam through her, and she fell to the ground.

"Willow?"

Tara's voice rose so much when she was panicked, and she knelt next to Willow, and god, she loved her so much. She reached a hand up to touch Tara's cheek one last time, and oh, Tara was crying, that wasn't good. Tara took her hand and held it tightly, and, struggling, Willow drew another breath.

And all of a sudden, Xander appeared at her other side, and looked around quickly, before kneeling as well.

Willow frowned. It didn't happen this way. "Xander?"

"Will," he replied, and he looked so pale. Tara frowned in confusion but Xander leaned down to touch Willow's chest, and when she looked down she saw his hand covering where the bullet had been. "Oh god. Will, no."

"Xander," she said, again, "What are you doing here?"

"Sweetie," Tara said, and Willow let her gaze fall on her again. "He's downstairs, you, you need to hold on, he'll be coming soon -"

"No," she told her, "He's here. He's right here."

"I'm here, Will," Xander said.

Tara got up and ran out of the room, stumbling against the wall, calling Xander's name, and Willow cried out even though it hurt.

"Will," Xander said again, taking her hand. "Will, you've gotta come home."

Willow looked up with a horrible realisation of dread, then. "No..."

"We need you there." Xander was crying now as well, and Xander never cried. Willow hated seeing him in this much pain, and so she closed her eyes. "Will," he said again, his voice cracking. "Don't do this. We need you."

"Tara," she said, quietly, her eyes still closed. Her throat was feeling so tight. "I need her. I can't..."

"I know," he replied, and when she looked at him again his head was bowed, and his mouth was doing that thing it does, and she was watching him fall apart. "But we need you, too. Buffy and Dawn and me. We can't do any of this without you. I mean... it's like that time, when I fell out of that tree, and nobody would have found me if you hadn't been coming over to visit. Or when Jesse died and you'd come with me to patrol around his grave every night, even though we never told Buff. I always need you."

This time, it took more effort to swallow and talk again, and the time had slowed again. Willow managed to shake her head. "I need Tara," she said, simply.

"We all do," he replied, and squeezed her hand. "But we need you, too. I need you." She saw his face break again, and he paused for what seemed like years before he started to talk again. "I love you."

"No," she said, quietly, just watching him.

"Don't make me do this without you," he just replied, and leaned down to kiss her forehead. He had her blood all over him. Maybe it was Tara's blood. Willow couldn't tell any more, with her tears choking her. He held her closer, and she clung to his arm. "I love you, Will."

"No," she repeated, but this time she let go, and she felt everything fly by.

And the bullet wound in her chest was gone when the world came back around them but the lump was worse, and Xander held her closer, and slowly, the pain seizing her body, Willow began to cry.